US - China Related Cartoons

(Courtesy of forwarded mail from Jason Gan)

老了怎麼辦 ???

老了怎麼辦 ??? 做一個新新老人標準    八十歲的年齡，七十歲的模樣，六十歲的時尚， 五十歲的包裝，四十歲的追求，三十歲的理想。  老年謠 六十老人比較小，七十老人滿街跑，八十老人不算老， 九十老人隨便找，百歲老人精神好得不得了。 百歲笑眯眯，九十多來兮，八十不稀奇，七十小弟弟，六十困勒搖籃裡。 老了怎麼辦？ 1、    老伴：少年夫妻老來伴，相伴一生的夫妻，到老才是最為重要的。家常飯，粗布衣，知冷知熱結髮妻。 2、   老窩：人到老年要有個避寒擋雨的屬於自己的家。要記住：父母的家永遠是子女的家，而子女的家永遠不是父母的家。 3、   老底：老年人手中要有點積蓄。錢不是萬能的，沒有錢是萬萬不能的。不到斷氣時，積蓄不能隨便交出去。 4、   老本：身體是人生的本錢，對於老年人尤為重要。硬朗的體質是財富也是自立的本錢，更是對兒女們的最大付出和支持。 5、   老友：人是社會的。行萬里路，讀萬卷書，閱萬個人。這是開拓眼界、增長知識、愉悅心情的必由之路。這個「閱」就是要和人交往。人到老年更要多交朋友，多與人來往。網路開拓了與遠隔千里之外的人交往的平臺，能更多地交友、會客。 6、老來樂：人到晚年就要永遠保持快樂的心態，這是強身健體的要素之一。 7、老好人：人到晚年要有個好脾氣，看什麼都順眼，聽什麼都順耳。  老來俏 人到老年適度「老來俏」，不僅是個人身心健康的需要，也是現代文明的需要。 白髮一經染黑，也就顯得年輕許多；鬍子勤刮，可使顏面保持整潔，容光煥發。 不僅美化了自己，增添精神，而且也美化了社會，成為一道「夕陽風景」， 還利於社交活動，益於身心健康。 正如諺語所說「老要時髦少要乖」。 老來三不管 保持身心健康，愉快地安度晚年，是所有老年人的共同願望。 所以老年人若想身心健康，應做到三個「不管」。 一不管晚輩不節儉： 現在的消費觀念變了，「月光族」、「負翁」成了許多人的生活方式。 二不管晚輩不孝順： 在現代社會中，家庭向小型化發展，子女都有自己的工作， 不可能每天廝守在老人身旁。 三不管社會不平等： 要學會全面、客觀地看問題，生活中就會多一些陽光，少一些陰影， 內心也就少一些不必要的困擾。 做個豁達開朗的老人 要想做個豁達開朗的老人，首先要摒棄掉處處總想著自己，事事都為著自己，因為這樣的老人不僅活的很累，而且是十分傷腦筋和煩心的。這樣的人心胸狹窄，憂心忡忡，鬱悶惆悵，氣量如絲，曖昧含混，給自己的身心帶來損失而混然不知。 「豁達開朗不勞傷」，這是實踐證明的真正正確的道理。要想做一個豁達開朗的老人，就要純正真實一點，寬容隨和一點，明智開通一點，瀟灑從容一點，名利淡泊一點，為人處事豁達開朗一點，就會永遠保持平靜安逸的心態，充分地享受生命，享受時光，享受歡樂。  當然道理好講，真正做起來可能很難，只要堅持活到老，學到老，改造到老，經常「吾日三省吾身」，是能夠達到這個境界的。           四個差不多    到了五十歲，長的醜俊差不多；       到了六十歲，官大官小差不多；      到了七十歲，錢多錢少差不多? 到了八十歲，老頭老婆差不多。  老年人養身經   魚生火肉生痰，青菜豆腐保平安。  母雞燉大棗，常食抗衰老。    飯前先喝湯，老了不受傷。 飲食八分飽，百歲不顯老。 動為綱，素為長，切忌怒，酒適量。  該吃吃，該喝喝，啥事別忘心裡擱。 樹老怕空，人老怕鬆，從嚴以終。  基本吃素，飯後百步。    遇事不怒，勞逸適度。  身怕不動，腦怕不用。  氣大上身，量小短壽。  春捂秋凍，少生雜病。  不求虛胖，但求實壯。 不氣不愁，活到白頭。  練出一身汗，小病不用看。  早起活活腰，一天精神好。  少吃有滋味，多吃傷脾胃。  飯前喝口湯，強似開藥方。  吃飯不要鬧，吃飽不要跳。  想長壽，多吃豆腐少吃肉。  勤吃藥不如勤洗腳。 這封信很有意思,你(妳)老了嗎? 不管如何,以後肯定會老！

 (Courtesy of forwarded mail from Chai Bui Lun)

Good Karma

 

(Courtesy of forwarded mail from Cheong QF)

Good definitions... :-))

Wife is like a tv

Girlfriend is like a mobile

At home you watch tv

but when u go out u take ur mobile

No money, you keep your old tv

Got money, you change your mobile

Sometimes you enjoy tv

but most of the time you play with your mobile

Tv is free for life

but for the mobile, if you don't pay, services will be terminated

Tv is big and bulky

Mobile is cute, slim, curvy and very portable

Operational costs for tv is minimal

but for the mobile it is often high and demanding

Most importantly, mobile is a two-way communication (you talk and listen) but with the tv you must only listen (whether you want to or not!)

*remember.....last but not least!*

Tvs don't have viruses

but mobiles often do .

Is it true?  Hahaha….

SMILE

A radio host invited callers to reveal the nick-names they had for their wives.
The best call was from a brave chap who called his wife "Harvey Norman".
The Host asked him why that name?
He replied, "Absolutely no interest for 36 months."
 

Okay..here it is.
A test to see if your brain is still working.
Which one do you think is the blonde?

Scroll down....
Amazing, I did not see it before..

The Blonde is the one with the wrong leg up.
That's OK, I did not Pass the test EITHER!

 

(Courtesy of forwarded mail from CK Chang)

Have A Good Laugh

Every Wife is a "Mistress" for her Husband.

"Miss" for one hour & "Stress" for the rest 23 hours!

The are 2 times when a Man doesn't understand a Woman. 

Before Marriage and After Marriage.

My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences.

He Thought He Was God, and I Didn't.

Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet.

Those Waiting Outside Are Desperate To Get In & Those Inside Are Desperate To Come Out.

Why Were Hurricanes Usually Named After Women?

Because When They Arrive, They're wet and wild,

But When They Go, They Take Your House And Car...

A Man Goes To The Wizard To Ask If He Can Remove A Curse He Has Been Living With For The Last 40 Years.

The Wizard Says, "Maybe, But You Will Have To Tell Me The Exact Words That Were Used To Put The Curse On You.”

The Man Says Without Hesitation, "I Now Pronounce You Man And Wife."

Husband Searching Keywords on Google `How to Tackle Wife?’

 Google Search Result: "Still Searching`.

A Man Goes To A Shrink And Says, "Doctor, My Wife Is Unfaithful To Me. Every Evening, She Goes To Larry's Bar And Picks Up Men. In Fact, She Sleeps With Anybody Who Asks Her! I'm Going Crazy. What Do You Think I Should Do?"

"Relax," Says The Doctor, "Take A Deep Breath And Calm Down. Now, Tell Me, Exactly Where Is Larry's Bar?"

Husband Throwing Darts at His Wife's Photo and Not Even a Single One Hitting the Target... From Another Room Wife Called The Husband: “Honey What Are You Doing?”

Husband: "MISSING YOU!"

A Man Goes To See The Rabbi. "Rabbi, Something Terrible Is Happening And I Have To Talk To You About It."

The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?"

The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me."

The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How Can That Be?"

The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what I should do?"

The Rabbi Then Offers, "Tell You What. Let Me Talk to Her, I'll See What I Can Find out and I'll Let You Know."

The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, "Well, I Spoke To Her For Three Hours. You Want My Advice?"

The Man Said "Yes."

The Rabbi Replied, "Take the poison."

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY...

Women are like phones:

They like to be held, talked to and touched often. But push the wrong button and you're disconnected......

Difference Between Complete & Finish.

People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH. But there is... When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE.... And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED..... And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ... COMPLETELY FINISHED!

Romantic SMS

She sends the following message:

My love if you're sleeping, send me your dreams

If you're smiling, send me your smile

If you're crying, send me your tears

I love you

He Replied: “I'm in the toilet. What do I send?”

(Courtesy of forwarded email from CK Chang)

Chinese Wisdom

Woman asks:

“If I sleep with 3 men, everyone calls me a slut.

But when a man sleeps with 10 girls, everyone calls him a real man. How come?”

Chinese Man replies:

“It's very simple.

Confucius says, 'When one lock can be opened by 3 different keys, it's a bad lock.

But when one key can open 10 different locks, we call it a master key!'

Always ask Confucius!!!

(Courtesy of forwarded mail from CK Chang)

老友必看

(Courtesy of forwarded mail from Chai Bui Lun)